My Boss says if I get 3,000 views that i can drink at work
I'm a drunk guy. I never really wanted to be, I just know myself, and thats what I am. I've tried doing other things, and it always ends the same. I just don't care. jessedictor@gmail.com to harass me.
"Lazy, lazy drunk guy. Don't you realize your words are hurting people?" - A fan. i assume he's a fan at least.
This is Drunk Guy Comics
Monday Wednesday Saturday
to sad to sleep to ashamed of my sorrow to tell anyone
About the above strip: this is half based off of a time i was drinking at a bar, waiting for my friends to come back from a show. i went out to my car to sleep until they showed up, i was exhausted or something, but failing to get into my car, i decided to simply sleep on the yard of the person whose home i had parked infront of. i got my friends call (i only like slept in a daze) and i stumbled back to the bar. My friends said to me "wow, you look horrible, what happened?".
"Yeah, i passed out in someone's yard"
i said her name for the first time in days. Its so hard to imagine such a large gap in time of saying her name. i atleast think about her. Its such a scary idea that her name will no longer be a part of me.
#6
Before Angie, there was a girl who started to hang out in my circle of 'partiers' at the goose hollow. After bumping uglies with one of my friends at the time, we started to drink together and got along like fire crackers. i use to go over to her place and just sit about and listen to music. Very early in our relationship see expressed an interest, and i having the same, we slept together. At the time, i had just entered college life, and before her was my first real one night stand. i thought i wanted more, so we stayed 'sleep together' buddies.
Some of the hesitation also fell on some odd stupid things. She sang 80's style music, and was into the electronic scene. i liked it when she sang, but i don't care much for eightoies music unless i am parodying something or to try to get a reaction out of people. She was also artistic, but she was more of a seamstress. She excelled everywhere, but our commonailities were spotty at best. This of course was compared to my habits at the time- selfish and in a constant stupor.
We ended up having a bit of a falling out as our group dissolved. She always cared for me even though i could be quite monsterous sometimes. i would say, in terms of affection, she was the girl who was most affectionate, and the nicest to me. Even when i had some depraved moments, she would always let me cuddle with her and confide in her. Actually, still to this day- she visited portland recently and we went to dinner and had a general great time. It sucks when you can like someone so much, but you just can't love them.
JD Salinger died today 1/28/2010. Everyone dies.
Musing: There is something hot about a semi-well kept up girl with track marks on her neck. Real blood doll scenario. A rare Goddess with an absolute aura of beauty and sexuality.
#2
Before Angie, i dated this girl in high school. She was a very poetic girl- way to poetic for me. She was of the african american persuasion. Though she was much more the peacock feather and long periods of laying in bed reading to each other. i was still torn up over my first, and sometimes we would just cry and talk about it. i wasn't a drunk guy yet- but i had maybe been to 3 parties at this point.
We were at her Aunts place at someones birthday celebrations. At 16, we did our best to just avoid the whole endevour. We sat in her aunts basement hugging on each other. There was a rabbit availible, and she decided to play with it. In a matter of minutes, she has knocked out the rabbits front teeth. She started crying and i held her.
We notified the parents and we found out they grow back- and it wasn't even a not worthy endevour. We sat back down in the basement, and she was so glad i was there to comfort her. She looked at me and said 'for the first time ever, i feel like giving a blowjob'. We ended up entwined, but i had to wait a week or two for the blow job. i guess technically she never promised it. But i feel it was implied.
#12
Before Angie, i had the pleasure of volunteering at planned parenthood. i actually had a lot of fun/akward times there. I ended up getting close to the manager. She was an attractive older woman who deserves some more descriptive terms but a man like myself simply doesn't have them.
I was planning to goto the Opera with another girl, and about two hours before i went i ended up getting a phone call from the Planned parenthood Manager. She was threatening to hurt herself, and wanted me to come over. After a little talking, i went over.
I get there and she's in a fine mood. Her face was red from the wine. We start to drink together. Needless to say, It was the first time i had ever been booty called.
About a week later, i notice some scabs on my special regions. i make plans at another planned parenthood (not the one i was volunteering at). It took a few days for the appointment, and i ended up volunteering again. When i was about to leave, i was comfronted by the manager. She saw my appointment and wanted to know what it was about. i got defensive, she got mean, I started crying and told her. I thought i might of had an STD. Its funny, two people who spent time at planned parenthood had unprotected sex. I mean, did we learn nothing here?
My appointment came, and when it was looked at, all i got from the female doctor(?) was she never saw anyone so worked up over a scratch before. She thinks i might have just been scratching myself too hard in my sleep, and tells me not to worry.
I never went to planned parenthood again.
